Remembering the past year, i cannot recall the turning points anymore,
I cannot remember the wrongs, the triumphs, the falls, the sorrow, the redemptions, the pain.
Each day, i live as a lifeless being, stepping on the ground with total deceit.
I am lying to myself,
I am a pathetic excuse for what you'd call a life.

Taking a transended view, i see the issue.
it is not that i am living,
but i am being lived.

i have no control over what i wish to do
those around me, as my pilot crew.
when i need help, i turn to who?

i have but no one, but only a few,
who have stood by me, i know who
and one of them stands out, like the morning dew.

but as everyone forgets the morning dew,
i remain, oblivious to you.

i know you love me,
i know you exist,
i know you are by by me
i know you saved the crisis

but yet,
i feel,
i have lost your touch,
your oh so wonderful delirious tug.

But, looking back at that all that i have done,
i now see, it is nothing but dust.

Amid the ash, that clouds the sky,
i can see you, but you seem so high.

i reach for you, but my pilot crew speaks
"stay on the ground,on own your feet"
don't look up,
they cry, in obvious deceit.


i feel so much like Midas, who longs for human touch,
all i ask for, is your holy crux.

the same one that found me, in the winter of 06'
i have lost it, three years ahead,
i have found beauty, in destruction instead.

I know much, but i do not feel,
I have lost, the ability to heal
the magical wonders that you reveal,
I see everything, but i cannot see you.

as the days of autumn approaches mid,
far sight,i speak, "the winter, that follows it."

this time i ask, for a blessed autumn
and in return, i will find, the same winter

of which you have induced.

in my mind and in my soul.

it is by faith that i carry on,
it is the pursuit of you that i keep moving on
it is the sight of you, that keeps me up
it is the scent of you, that brings me around
it is the fabric of you, that clothes me
it is the mercy of you, that holds me
it is the power of you, that heals me
it is the glory of you, that survives me.

i am you, i am your being,
you are me, you are in me.

i long for your return into my life,
i seek your touch as my divine guide.

as i look to the sky,
i see the eagle,
in full flight,
but with a serpent under its fly.

i see the empowerment of the eagle,
over the snake,
and i all i need now,
is to see thy face.

In Jesus's name i pray.

(amen)